he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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