He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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