i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Randomize
