Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
