Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
