It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
