Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
my liver is dry heaving
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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