omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
kristin has been a bad kristin
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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