we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
