i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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