Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
