wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
