You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
