For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
