yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
it was like having sex with a tree stump
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
