A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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