I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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