My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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