I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
They took my balls.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I smell like Dick and happiness
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
