kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
