She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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