Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
