My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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