And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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