Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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