I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
