its not stalking. its research.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We are two peas in an std pod
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
