doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Let's get the cat blown out
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
