i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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