think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
