You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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