I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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