Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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