She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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