She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
