We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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