I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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