im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
