I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
