i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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