i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
