i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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