There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
