Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
