Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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