i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
