That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
