Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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