I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
