He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
