are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
