The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
